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   If they're conservative -
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| Home Page Message Board | The Stirrer interviews: GEORGE W. BUSH Stirrer: Good afternoon Mr President. GWB: Howdy Stirrer! Stirrer: Mr President, I’d like to begin this interview on the subject of abortion. GWB: As you are probably aware, I have strong views on abortion. Stirrer: I’m just coming to that Mr President. GWB: My view on the issue is shaped by my own experience Stirrer: Are your views on abortion shared by your parents, Mr President? GWB: I’m not really sure on that one, my father always beats around the bush when I try to raise the subject. Stirrer: Why do you think that is the case Mr President? GWB: I don’t know really, I’ve never really understood my father. Stirrer: I can believe that. Stirrer: Moving on slightly, is there any truth in the rumour that your middle name was inaccurately recorded at birth because your father couldn’t spell it correctly? GWB: I’ve never heard that rumour. Stirrer: It’s said that your parents placed an "L" where they meant to put an "N". GWB: Really? It’s amazing what you find out as you get older! Stirrer: I’d like to talk about the environment now Mr President. GWB: Pardon? Stirrer: You know Mr President, the environment: Kyoto, gas emissions, natural resources etc. GWB: My advisors are preparing a policy for my administration at the moment. Stirrer: Talking of Enron, do you regret your involvement with them? GWB: I had no direct involvement with Enron. Stirrer: But your election campaign was partly funded by them. GWB: Like I said, I had no DIRECT involvement with Enron. Stirrer: Talking of the election campaign, what would you say to those who said that your brother helped you to cheat your way to the presidency? GWB: Well, I got the biggest number of votes that were counted in Florida. Stirrer: Do you think the electoral process was flawed? GWB: I don’t know, but I do know that good ol’ JB had a good team to count the votes down there. Stirrer: To move to the personal side of life once more Mr President, are you a dog lover? GWB: Yes, I have a dog. Stirrer: What kind of dog do you have? GWB: I own a poodle. Stirrer: What do you call it? GWB: Tony. Stirrer: Does he follow all your commands? GWB: Oh yes, he certainly does! Stirrer: So he knows who’s the master? GWB: Most definitely! Stirrer: Do you feed him on pretzels Mr President? GWB: No, I tend to keep those for myself. Stirrer: Have one of my pretzels Mr President! (Hoping that the bastard chokes properly this time!) GWB: Thanks. Stirrer: Have you any plans to visit England in the near future Mr President? GWB: Isn’t that near London? Stirrer: Moving onto a slightly different subject Mr President, perhaps we could discuss your foreign policy. GWB: Go ahead. Stirrer: Do you believe that any country which invades another should be forcibly removed from that country if at all possible? GWB: Yes. Stirrer: Do you believe that sanctions should also be applied to the invading country. GWB: Most definitely. Stirrer: Would you offer help to those resisting the invaders? GWB: I would offer any assistance I could, if at all feasible. Stirrer: Have you spoken to Mr Sharon lately? GWB: We were talking just before this interview. Stirrer: Did you threaten him with sanctions? GWB: Pardon? Stirrer: Did you threaten him with sanctions? GWB: No, we were discussing his order for our latest warplanes built by Boeing. Stirrer: I would like to raise the subject of the death penalty. GWB: I firmly believe in the death penalty. Stirrer: Is it true that some people that you have had executed in your time as Governor of Texas were mentally unfit at the time of their crime? GWB: They were no more mentally impaired than I am! Stirrer: Do you believe that the death penalty should be applied in every case of multiple murder? GWB: Yes. Stirrer: Including those who do it for political ends? GWB: No question about that. Stirrer: Are you still committed to putting leaders of rogue states on trial for war crimes? GWB: Of course I am. Stirrer: Do you think that the International Court should be able to impose a death sentence? GWB: Yes. Stirrer: Do you intend paying a visit to that court yourself at some point? GWB: That is a distinct possibility. Stirrer: Finally Mr President, what is your reaction to the opinion poll carried out recently where 43% of those Americans questioned thought that you should be impeached for being an active heterosexual? GWB: That’s a lie. I’m not an active heterosexual. I’m a churchgoer. Those people are an abomination. They are damned to hell when they die. Stirrer: Mr President, thank you very much for this forthright interview. GWB: My pleasure. |
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